"Austin Powers: Goldmember"

Title: "Austin Powers: Goldmember"
Director: Jay Roach
Producers: M. Myers, D. Moore, E. McLeod
Editing: G. Hayden and J. Poll
Composer: George S. Clinton
Starring:
- Mike Myers as Austin Powers
- Mike Myers as Dr. Evil
- Mike Myers as Fat Bastard
- Mike Myers as Goldmember

- Beyonce Knowles as Foxxy Cleopatra
- Michael York as Basil Exposition
- Michael Caine as Nigel Powers
- Seth Green as Scott Evil
- Verne Troyer as Mini-Me
- Fred Savage as Number Three/Mole

Plot and Critical Review: It's 2002 and in a new lair cleverly hidden behind the famous Hollywood sign, Dr. Evil outlines his latest plan: to go back in time to 1975 and retrieve Johan van der Smut, aka "Goldmember," who developed a cold fusion unit for a tractor beam. He intends to use the tractor beam to pull a meteor into the Earth to strike the polar ice caps and cause global flooding. Moments after revealing this plan Austin Powers and the British Secret Service attack and arrest Dr. Evil. Austin is knighted for his efforts, but disappointed when his father, the famous super-spy Nigel Powers, fails to.

At a party to celebrate his knighthood, Basil Exposition informs Austin that his father has been kidnapped. In search of answers Austin visits the imprisoned Dr. Evil in Geneva, who tells him that Goldmember is behind the abduction in exchange for being transferred to a regular prison to be with Mini-Me. Traveling to 1975, Austin infiltrates Goldmember's roller disco club Studio 69 and meets up with Foxxy Cleopatra, an old flame and FBI agent. With Foxxy's help Austin locates his father but is unable to rescue him. At the last second Goldmember takes Austin's father through a time machine and travels to 2002. Meanwhile, Dr. Evil and Mini-Me instigate a riot in their prison, giving them the opportunity to escape. A British Intelligence mole named Number Three (who ironically has a large mole next to his nose) informs Austin that Dr. Evil has moved to a new lair near Tokyo, Japan - a giant submarine shaped like himself. Austin and Foxxy fly to Tokyo and confront Fat Bastard, now a sumo wrestler. Fat Bastard tells them that a Japanese business man, Mr. Roboto, is working on a device for Dr. Evil and Goldmember.

Austin and Foxxy meet with Mr. Roboto who pleads ignorance about Nigel's whereabouts. Unconvinced, Austin and Foxxy infiltrate Roboto's factory where the command unit for the tractor beam is being loaded into Goldmember's car, and Roboto hands Goldmember a golden key needed to activate the beam. Foxxy confronts Goldmember while Austin attempts to free his father, but Goldmember escapes with the command unit and flees to Dr. Evil's sub. Unable to settle their differences, Nigel and Austin part ways when they disagree on how to deal with the situation. Meanwhile, Dr Evil's son Scott has become increasingly evil (and very bald) in an attempt to prove himself to his father. He gives his father a pool of with sharks with laser beams attached to their heads, a request that had gone unfulfilled in the first film. Dr. Evil replaces Mini-Me with Scott as his favored son, and a rejected Mini-Me defects and joins Austin's team.

Austin, Foxxy and Mini-Me infiltrate the sub, but Austin and Mini-Me are captured. Dr. Evil prepares to active the tractor beam, but Foxxy has stolen the key and frees Austin and Mini-Me. Austin neutralizes Dr. Evil and is about to shoot him when Nigel appears and reveals Dr. Evil and Austin are brothers; separated when they were toddlers when an assassination attempt killed their mother. Dr. Evil and Austin embrace. During their sentimental reunion Goldmember commandeers the tractor beam's controls and unzips his pants, revealing his gold-covered genitals ("gold-member" to be a spare key. Goldmember activates the tractor beam, but Austin and Dr. Evil work together to reverse it's polarity, destroying the meteor and saving the world.

The heroes arrest Goldmember, who turns to the camera and reveals the entire string of events was adapted into a film by Steven Spielberg, starring Tom Cruise as Austin, Kevin Spacey as Dr Evil, Danny Devito as Mini-Me, and John Travolta as Goldmember. Austin, Foxxy, Dr. Evil, Mini-Me and Nigel are suddenly in the audience of a Hollywood theater watching the film. Upon exiting the theater they bump into Fat Bastard, now normal size thanks to Jared's Subway diet. Austin and Foxxy have a kiss and faraway Scott - now bald and dressing and laughing in a manner similar to his father - declares he will get his revenge on Austin Powers.

Have you ever heard a really good song and found you couldn't stop yourself from listening to it over and over again? For a while it seems it's like you hear something new every time you listen, but after a while the song wears thin and your favor passes on to another tune. No problem. Watching "Goldmember" is like being made to listen to that once-favorite song once again...you still have some appreciation for it, but almost all of the joy is gone. Grossing less than "The Spy Who Shagged Me", "Goldmember" is a quintessential example of how to vamp on workable themes. While tiresome at times (how many more "Johnson Jokes" can they think up...), Myers does deliver with content that not only supports the continuity of the Austin Powers franchise, but also displaying his enormous creative talent. This installment, however, paled in comparison to the two films that came before it. Even though Myers managed to put together a string of cameos dazzling enough to challenge the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the film just didn't deliver. Expanding plot lines, vamping on already worn material, and somewhat forced (or at least some of them felt awfully forced) cameos won't make this one a favorite in my book, but i'll give it it's due.

If you really like Austin Powers, look for the fourth installment in 2013.

My Rating: 4.5/10

Content to Caution:
V-2.5 - No comment.
L-2.5 - No comment.
DU-2 - No comment.
RT-1 - No comment.
H/S-0 - No comment.
CH-3 - Same old song and dance.
S/N-2.5 - Likewise. No comment.

The "Reel Revelation": "Holy Humor - Pt. 3"

I've been somewhat harsh on the Austin Powers trilogy because it depends on a great deal of repeated comedic material. I know i'm justified in being critical to that end, but if I am going to be fair I must also point out that the stories of the Bible also seem to vamp on the same themes as well. Here's how I see most of those stories unfolding:

- God Speaks

- Man Listens

- Man Disobeys (Almost immediately)

- God Speaks Again (Sometimes you get to know a prophet at this point)

- Man Listens

- Man Disobeys Again (Depending on the story)

- God Intervenes

- Man Repents

Rinse, Wash, Repeat Cycle...

This is, in the most general sense, the story of our human civilization and our interaction with God, our Creator. The Creation Narrative, The Flood, Israel's Captivity In Egypt, Israel's Captivity In Babylon, Israel's Bondage under Rome, The Coming of the Messiah, the Persecution of the Early Church, St. Paul's Journeys, and ultimately the prophecy of Armageddon all reflect this simple storyline; we are stubborn and God is fiercely in love with us. Only a God of love could be so patient and gentle with such a stubborn people.

While not laughable in the "knee-slapping" sense, there is a gentle humor about how God keeps after us, how He seeks us out even when we're desperately trying to stay hidden. And since we probably wouldn't react well to some of the signs and wonders God used to display His power in ancient days (how would you feel if a pillar of fire tore through your roof?!), He got creative. The funniest thing happened...God became a man. And do you know what happened when that man started telling people he was God's Son, sent into the world to forgive their sins?

- God Spoke

- Man Listened

- Man Rejected

- Man Killed God

And then the funniest thing happened...

- God Lived

And now the very same God offers us the very same Life which Jesus exemplified and defined while He lived on the Earth. This is Everlasting Life, my friends, Life which flows from the Father, passes through the sacrifice of the Son, and is made completely manifest in our lives by the power of the Holy Spirit. Will you embrace that Life and welcome God's joy and peace? Will you open up your heart to the deep humor (a sort of "eternal chuckle") of God, and choose to live in His love?

During Lent we do well to beat our breasts and come humbly before the Cross, pleading that God will show us mercy and forgive our many trespasses. But it is not a grim liturgical season, nor are we a grim people. We are an Easter people, and God's "holy humor" calls us to remember the funniest paradox of all, that while we "...are dust, and to dust (we) shall return..." (Genesis 3:19b), "These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full." (John 15:11)

- God Speaks

- We Listen

- We Live

See you Monday - E.T.